I have now been zapped by a linear accelerator for five days running. One week of radiation therapy down, three more to go. So far, this breast cancer treatment has been much easier to withstand than chemotherapy, for which I’m glad.

Sometimes I think about the story a friend of mine told me. She’d planned a dream vacation to Alaska with her sister. When treatment for an aggressive cancer weakened her sister, there was some debate over going forward with the plans. But the sister wasn’t sure about her chances for survival, so the trip was on. My friend ended up making the arrangements, driving their rented motor home, and handling all the details during their vacation. Her sister, so independent in the past, seemed incapable of doing anything.

I know how easy it is to feel like an invalid, a victim. Friends and family can be very kind after learning that a loved one has been diagnosed with serious illness. People offer to bring meals, drive the patient wherever she needs to go, and take care of the house. When one is recovering from surgery, or felled by chemotherapy, it is easy to accept.

The time does come when the patient feels better. And yet, the invalid mindset persists. “I’m still weak, how far can I drive? How much exercise can my body safely do? Should I push myself or should I rest? Should I make my plans or take a pass for now?”

I had the invalid mindset for about two weeks. Now my mind has flipped in the opposite direction. Oncologists say the effect of radiation is cumulative. Fatigue can set in fairly soon. So I want to get everything on my list accomplished at once. All I missed out on during the surgeries and chemotherapy must be handled now. Plans for my own dream vacation must be fast tracked. The outline for the non-fiction manuscript I am writing must be done yesterday.

What lesson from my illness have I forgotten? It went like this: Family and friends first. All the rest in good time. How quickly one forgets.