The gamut of emotions I’ve experienced since being diagnosed with breast cancer is very typical, from what I’ve been able to discern. One thing I’ve done that, apparently, is not typical is that I’ve not joined a support group.

I use the word “apparently” because my women friends always seem surprised when I tell them I haven’t joined up. “Why not?” they ask in almost startled fashion.

The answer isn’t so easily summed up. In the beginning, I suppose, I didn’t want to feel any weaker than I already did. And going to a group of strangers for support not only felt weak to me, it seemed cold.

There was a time, during the worst of the chemotherapy treatments, when I thought about finding such a group. But I didn’t have the strength to go. When I did feel better, I wanted to surround myself with healthy, upbeat people who could take my mind to a happier place.

Had the chemotherapy gone longer than three months, I think I would have sought out a group with like experiences. It had become wearying, explaining to family and friends what was happening with me before I could get a hug in return. That was all I wanted most of the time. No advice. No sympathy really. Just a hug.

In Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book, she writes: “Sometimes, when you’re having chemotherapy, the people who were supportive in the beginning start to dribble off.” She hit that right on the nose. People who were there when I was diagnosed, and through two surgeries, began to fade away when chemotherapy began. Who could blame them? As the patient, I longed to get on with life, get back to “normal.” According to Dr. Love, when the interest from others fades, that’s a perfect time to find a support group.

Dr. Love talks about a “peculiar sort of funk” that sets in when surgeries and treatment end. She notes that support groups can even be sought out then. I hadn’t considered that. With the end of my treatment scant two weeks away, I find myself with a litany of questions that are, apparently, very typical:
--Am I cured?
--When there is no more chemotherapy or radiation going into my body, are the cancer cells waiting to coalesce and strike?
--My body betrayed me once, will it again?
--Will there be after effects from the treatments that will cause trouble in the future?
--What can I do with diet and exercise to reduce the likelihood of recurrence?
--The oncologists at my HMO are sure to want to push me into taking a hormone suppressant. What of the side effects and after effects from these?

I have talked with women who are in touch, seventeen years later, with friends made in their support groups. There is much, I hear, to be said in their favor. Once the preoccupation with treatment is behind me, I may yet join one. It’s been a traumatic whirlwind and it might be good to discuss it with people who have been there.

The American Cancer Society has a nice online article that goes through the things to consider when searching for a group. According to the article, “Some needs are best addressed in a support group. Examples are the need for information, such as how children typically react to a parent’s diagnosis, how to explain your diagnosis at work, or how to communicate better with your doctor. The intensity of your feelings about a situation will also help you to decide about attending a group. You may feel so upset about your situation that the idea of discussing it with others makes it worse.”

Here are a few links to support groups for those who might need one:
--American Cancer Society
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/ESN/esn_3.asp?sitearea=ESN

--National Cancer Institute
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/wyntk/breast/page13. Information specialists at 1-800-422-6237 and at LiveHelp (http://www.cancer.gov/help) can help locate programs, services, and publications.

--Susan G. Komen
http://ww5.komen.org/breastcancer/support.html. Breast care helpline at 1-877-465-6636 for more information. The breast care helpline provides free, professional support services to anyone with breast health or breast cancer questions or concerns.